How to Live Happily With Your Dog - Guest Blog by Cat Hamilton
How to Live Happily with Your Dog
Living happily with your dog doesn’t require fancy equipment or special products; it starts with treating your dog like the sentient, feeling being they are. Just as you invest care, respect, and attention in your friendships, family ties, or romantic relationships, your relationship with your dog deserves that same thoughtful investment.
We can have some fixed ideas about what a dog will bring into our lives which usually involves what the dog can do for us. Nowadays, more and more dogs are experiencing trauma and other emotional challenges, and it is more apparent that it is them that need something from us.
When we change the narrative from ‘what can I get’ to ‘how can I help you’ we start to change the expectations and have a more realistic approach to what it really means to live happily with our dogs.
Here’s a few suggestions for how to create a joyful, balanced life with your dog, grounded in everyday actions that anyone can do. It invites you to listen deeply, and to consider things you may not have thought about.
See Your Dog as a Being, not a Thing - Dogs aren’t all ‘pets’ or accessories; they are individuals with thoughts, feelings, needs, and preferences. This means the foundation of happiness with your dog starts with recognising their autonomy.
- Observe their body language and moods. Notice when they’re relaxed, curious, or overwhelmed.
- Respect their choices. If your dog doesn’t want to be hugged or picked up, honour that boundary.
- Understand that their “behaviour” is communication, not defiance.
- Be careful with the words you use around them and the names you call them, for example; stupid dog, or this dog is crazy etc. They can feel the emotions behind your words.
Invest Time Like You Would in a Friend or Family Member - You wouldn’t expect a friendship to flourish without regular attention, meaningful conversations, or shared experiences. The same goes for your dog.
- Spend quality time together every day, not just quick walks or feeding times.
- Engage in activities your dog enjoys; it could be a game of fetch, a gentle grooming session, or simply sitting calmly together without any other agenda.
- Be mentally present. Put away distractions and tune in to your dog’s energy and needs in that moment.
Communicate Clearly and Consistently - Good relationships thrive on clear communication. With dogs, that means consistent cues, tone, and body language. This helps them to build trust and feel safe with you.
- Use simple, consistent commands and signals.
- Reinforce positive behaviours with praise or treats, but don’t rely solely on treats; your tone and presence matter too.
- Avoid mixed messages: don’t invite your dog onto the sofa sometimes but scold them other times for the same thing.
- Gain clarity about how your actions will influence the current situation and how you will affect your dog; will they build trust or break down trust?
Support Your Dog’s Mental and Physical Health - Happiness comes from wellbeing. That means providing for your dog’s basic needs thoughtfully and proactively. Give thought to what they might need as sometimes they may just be bored.
- Regular exercise suited to your dog’s breed and age keeps their body and mind healthy.
- Mental stimulation matters as much as physical; puzzles, training sessions, or new smells on a walk keep their brain active.
- Create safe, quiet spaces where your dog can retreat and relax without disturbance.
- Dogs like to have a routine too. This helps them know what will happen when as much as possible. Having feeding times, walk times and toilet breaks help them to feel that they are not on high alert and feeling unsure about what is going to happen next.
Be Patient and Curious About Your Dog’s World - Dogs have their own perspectives shaped by their history, breed traits, and personality. We never put ourselves in their shoes and wonder what it might be like to be so small, big or scared; and we just take them with us without regard for how they may be feeling in the situations we place them in.
- When challenges arise, approach them with curiosity and empathy; instead of frustration.
- Learn about dog behaviour and psychology; understanding why your dog reacts a certain way builds empathy, and can give you a taste of what it is like to be in their world.
- Remember that dogs live in the moment; try to meet them there instead of imposing your human expectations.
Make It a Two-Way Relationship - Your dog gives you companionship, loyalty, and joy, but the relationship works best when it’s balanced. Both of you need boundaries so that the relationship serves you both. Yes, we consider them and their needs, but we also need to consider ourselves and our needs too.
- Reflect on what your dog needs and wants, not just what you hope to get from them. Reduce your expectations of what it ‘should’ be like, and live with what it ‘is’ like to live with a traumatised animal.
- Celebrate small wins and moments of connection; where you felt like everything flowed and you were both in tune. You made this happen by giving them your attention and love.
- Talk to them. Keep them informed of what is happening or going to happen. They do understand. You can do this telepathically too but that’s another story…
- Ask yourself if the actions you are about to take will benefit you and your dog at this time or if something else would be more beneficial.
- See them as they are, and consider what they have been through and that you are their safe landing place at this time. They need patience and understanding to adjust to their new surroundings, and you as their new caregiver.
In a world where animals are not given a second thought with regards to how they feel and what is going on for them, you can be their light and anchor. Most of our dogs have been through a lot to get to us and it can take them time to relax and feel safe and understand that you are not going to abandon them too.
Living happily with your dog is not about putting their needs before yours or always being the one who has to compromise and ‘dog please’. They need clear boundaries and direction too; otherwise they will not trust you because your actions are inconsistent and unpredictable.
Instead, it is about mutual respect, daily presence, and genuine care. You want to build trust and help them to feel safe; so by treating them with the same kindness, patience, and attention you would your closest human relationships, you’ll build a bond that’s joyful, resilient, and deeply fulfilling for both of you.
If you would like to find out more or embark on a journey of Mindful Caregiving I would love to hear from you 🙏